an acceptable level of ecstasy

As life would have it, I spent the months of October to March in something of a fog.  I was trying out a new medication, I had a sinus infection for three months running, and it was winter, something which makes the blue meanies all that much harder to deal with.  Although I had some very nice days in those months, all centering around visits with family and friends, everything just felt harder.  I didn't want to do anything remotely stressful or try anything new.  I took unpaid leave from my job, and I didn't want to read, see, taste, hear, or touch anything that wasn't already intimately familiar.

Lately, however, I've been creeping back.  Maybe even more than creeping.  The latest medication actually does seem to be catching on.  I've gone to three new movies, read some new books, and been talked into taking excursions into the city.  I'm back at work, taking it one day at a time.  And spring is here, finally.  It feels like it might even be spring in my life again as well as just outside in nature. 

This month's topic is love.  I am embedded in the love of, and my adoration for my parents, my husband, my family, my friends, and my pets, with special gratitude towards my doctors and my therapist (especially my therapist).  But I think that today I want to share a list of my other loves -- the things that kept me going through the dark days, and that make me that much more grateful to be basking in the light.

50 of the things I love

1. Duke's mayonnaise
2. air conditioning
3. Dame Judi Dench
4. red nail polish
5. house museums
6. carousels
7. fireworks 
8. a well-organized room
9. the top of the Chrysler building
10. Outback Steakhouse
11. evening gowns
12. manatees
13. rose perfume
14. Lipton pasta
15. glitter.  pink.  pink glitter.  glittery pink things.
16. a stack of blank notebook paper with a sharpened pencil next to it
17. a pale yellow china bowl
18. fairy lights
19. a screen porch
20. cats in sunbeams
21. Lyle Lovett's voice
22. sweet tea
23. stew beef
24. Scarecrow and Mrs. King
25. cream eye shadow
26. babies
27. peacock feathers
28. Chanel No. 5
29. black clothes
30. Texas wildflowers
31. Morris's Disappearing Bag
32. Simon Baker
33. the first bite of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream
34. swing sets
35. king-size beds
36. really big jewels
37. I and the Village
38. lemons
39. steak
40. pigs
41. elephants
42. Gone with the Wind and the memory of the first time I read it
43. the smell of old paperbacks
44. Cats
45. Spanish moss
46. Land O' Lakes Monterey Jack cheese
47. greyhounds in the grass
48. roses, gardenias, orange blossoms, birds of paradise, and hibiscus -- childhood flowers
49. cotton sheets
50. "they were delicious / so sweet / and so cold" -- W.C. Williams

Comments

[Martha Ann]

What a wonderful post! I love you and many of those same 50 things.

[Ashley]

For some reason your list brought tears to my eyes. Something about Duke's and Dame Judi Dench being right there in the top 3 together struck me sharply as being soooo Emily and reminded me how much love I have for you. Here's to spring!

[Sandra]

Welcome back love. I have missed you.